The New (Awkward) Age
Recently noticed on a bill board was the phrase,”60 is the new 40”!
Really? I’m 60.. so I know they can’t possible be talking about years.
60 years old to me is the new awkward age. I used to think 8 was that discomfited age, especially for girls. You still have a bit of baby fat and the loose tooth fairy has struck often enough that you look like you’ve been in a fight when you smile. Adding insult to injury. the new teeth, when they finally DO come in, often appear too big for your mouth.
At 60 the baby fat I lost after having four children has found me again….though I don’t remember leaving a forwarding address. I didn’t need to call on the tooth fairy to arrive at the fact that at 60, only seven of my teeth are originals.. And while the new ones fit and look great when I smile.. you should take care to look for cover when I sneeze.
To be truthful it’s not so much about the physical awkwardness at this age.…though I’d give my eye tooth to be able to get down on my knees without them hurting. But then, I have no more eye teeth to give.. so…..where was I? oh yes.. it’s not just the bodily graces I miss nearly as much as my brain. I won’t admit totally defeat when it comes to all brain functions.. not yet.. but when it comes to technical intelligence, just pass the dunce hat.
Both our oldest son, (hence forth to be referred to as Hootis.. a self inflicted nickname) and senior daughter, OG, have been instrumental in encouraging their mother to jump into the 21st century by way of blogging. Hootis has his own server which he generously offered up for his mother’s use in blogging . After numerous attempts to set up a blog his mother could use, I’ve had to admit defeat. I can’t even get the pass word to work.
OG, on the other hand, has sufficient computer skills ( and patience I might add) to encourage her mother along more commercial lines when it comes to blogging. She even talked me into getting myself a domain name, ah - - such faith in her old mother. Maigcbookmark.com - a website promoting great reading to kids of all ages.
Don’t bother. Nothing is there. I couldn’t make it work either.
I take comfort in the thought that my first two experiments in motherhood still love me enough to at least ‘think’ I could make the leap. Perhaps that’s an indication that I have some credibility left with them. Only time will tell.
Moving right along to remote controls: Does anyone reading this remember the days when you walked up to the television and turned it on?.. That’s where you changed the channels too. Don’t get me wrong.. I’m all for being able to stay curled up on the sofa, or tucked into your recliner to accomplish the same thing. But then along came the other stuff: the vhs and dvd players, the home theater, the tivo, the dvd carousel and the satellite receiver. Each one comes with it’s own remote. Raise your hand if you know how to co-ordinate them all. You won’t see me wagging my hand in the air!
If I were a conspiracy theorist I’d say this all has something to do with the male need to control the television! To prove he was falsely accused of such a dastardly plan, , EX-man purchased a universal remote…which just so happens requires a computer to program! It’s a vicious circle.. I’m not completely letting go of my suspicions yet!
What is a 60 year old, techno-challenged woman to do? In an attempt to make myself feel just a little capable I made of list of the remotes my brain currently understands:
- The remote chance that there might be something I want to watch on television when EX-man is home to co-ordinate the plethora of hand held gadgets required to do so. .
- The remote chance that it won’t be a decorating show I want to watch
- The remote chance EX-man won’t roll his eyes and pretend he didn’t hear me say I want to watch a home decorating show
- The remote possibility of the universal remote we bought ever being programmed so I CAN operate any of the home theater equipment.
- The remote chance that pigs will indeed someday fly!
Big sigh!
My brain is 60.. and is having one heck of a time transitioning to something less, when that less is more than I can figure out . It’s sad! But I’ve not given up yet. Obviously I have some work to do.. In the meantime, don’t try to sell me the idea that 60 is the new 40!
$60 is the new $40?? That works!
Recently noticed on a bill board was the phrase,”60 is the new 40”!
Really? I’m 60.. so I know they can’t possible be talking about years.
60 years old to me is the new awkward age. I used to think 8 was that discomfited age, especially for girls. You still have a bit of baby fat and the loose tooth fairy has struck often enough that you look like you’ve been in a fight when you smile. Adding insult to injury. the new teeth, when they finally DO come in, often appear too big for your mouth.
At 60 the baby fat I lost after having four children has found me again….though I don’t remember leaving a forwarding address. I didn’t need to call on the tooth fairy to arrive at the fact that at 60, only seven of my teeth are originals.. And while the new ones fit and look great when I smile.. you should take care to look for cover when I sneeze.
To be truthful it’s not so much about the physical awkwardness at this age.…though I’d give my eye tooth to be able to get down on my knees without them hurting. But then, I have no more eye teeth to give.. so…..where was I? oh yes.. it’s not just the bodily graces I miss nearly as much as my brain. I won’t admit totally defeat when it comes to all brain functions.. not yet.. but when it comes to technical intelligence, just pass the dunce hat.
Both our oldest son, (hence forth to be referred to as Hootis.. a self inflicted nickname) and senior daughter, OG, have been instrumental in encouraging their mother to jump into the 21st century by way of blogging. Hootis has his own server which he generously offered up for his mother’s use in blogging . After numerous attempts to set up a blog his mother could use, I’ve had to admit defeat. I can’t even get the pass word to work.
OG, on the other hand, has sufficient computer skills ( and patience I might add) to encourage her mother along more commercial lines when it comes to blogging. She even talked me into getting myself a domain name, ah - - such faith in her old mother. Maigcbookmark.com - a website promoting great reading to kids of all ages.
Don’t bother. Nothing is there. I couldn’t make it work either.
I take comfort in the thought that my first two experiments in motherhood still love me enough to at least ‘think’ I could make the leap. Perhaps that’s an indication that I have some credibility left with them. Only time will tell.
Moving right along to remote controls: Does anyone reading this remember the days when you walked up to the television and turned it on?.. That’s where you changed the channels too. Don’t get me wrong.. I’m all for being able to stay curled up on the sofa, or tucked into your recliner to accomplish the same thing. But then along came the other stuff: the vhs and dvd players, the home theater, the tivo, the dvd carousel and the satellite receiver. Each one comes with it’s own remote. Raise your hand if you know how to co-ordinate them all. You won’t see me wagging my hand in the air!
If I were a conspiracy theorist I’d say this all has something to do with the male need to control the television! To prove he was falsely accused of such a dastardly plan, , EX-man purchased a universal remote…which just so happens requires a computer to program! It’s a vicious circle.. I’m not completely letting go of my suspicions yet!
What is a 60 year old, techno-challenged woman to do? In an attempt to make myself feel just a little capable I made of list of the remotes my brain currently understands:
- The remote chance that there might be something I want to watch on television when EX-man is home to co-ordinate the plethora of hand held gadgets required to do so. .
- The remote chance that it won’t be a decorating show I want to watch
- The remote chance EX-man won’t roll his eyes and pretend he didn’t hear me say I want to watch a home decorating show
- The remote possibility of the universal remote we bought ever being programmed so I CAN operate any of the home theater equipment.
- The remote chance that pigs will indeed someday fly!
Big sigh!
My brain is 60.. and is having one heck of a time transitioning to something less, when that less is more than I can figure out . It’s sad! But I’ve not given up yet. Obviously I have some work to do.. In the meantime, don’t try to sell me the idea that 60 is the new 40!
$60 is the new $40?? That works!
5 comments:
A laugh a minute...or line. Thanks for the pick me up.
Love,
E.
BTW - You've been tagged (go to Playin' with the boys to find out what that means)
Love,
E.
This is totally inspired, witty and humorous. What's more, I found myself very much intrigued by the whole premise. 60 is the new 40.
Well of course everyone understands that refers to 9holes of golf! For all those guys who have been trying to hit 40 on the front 9 for years, 60 is a heck of lot easier to achieve - and so like today when excellence has been downgraded and rankings removed from all forms of competition.
Nice work figuring that all out!
Love that...although I was feeling like 37 was the new 87.
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